hplyrikz:

This will make you feel better
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?
Anonymous

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

perchu:

nentindo:

IN KINGDOM HEARTS II, ALADDIN HAD A FLASHBACK ABOUT JAFAR AND IT WAS SO FUNNY LOOK AT THIS

jaclose

perchu:

nentindo:

IN KINGDOM HEARTS II, ALADDIN HAD A FLASHBACK ABOUT JAFAR AND IT WAS SO FUNNY LOOK AT THIS

jaclose

Reblog and like, follow back and fangirl. Scroll again and by then it’s, like, 3:45 am…

nixxies:

sometimes i forget that dogs are animals descended from scary ass wild beasts that hunt and kill and shit like

my pug just farted so loud she scared herself and had to be cuddled until she stopped crying like how did this happen

silkeeze-710:

Freaky

silkeeze-710:

Freaky

disneykindofgirl
Kiss her. Slowly, take your time, there’s no place you’d rather be. Kiss her but not like you’re waiting for something else, like your hands beneath her shirt or her skirt or tangled up in her bra straps. Nothing like that. Kiss her like you’ve forgotten any other mouth that your mouth has ever touched. Kiss her with a curious childish delight. Laugh into her mouth, inhale her sighs. Kiss her until she moans. Kiss her with her face in your hands. Or your hands in her hair. Or pulling her closer at the waist. Kiss her like you want to take her dancing. Like you want to spin her into an open arena and watch her look at you like you’re the brightest thing she’s ever seen. Kiss her like she’s the brightest thing you’ve ever seen. Take your time. Kiss her like the first and only piece of chocolate you’re ever going to taste. Kiss her until she forgets how to count. Kiss her stupid. Kiss her silent. Come away, ask her what 2+2 is and listen to her say your name in answer.
Azra.T (via 69rooms)

WHAT’S THIS?!!!

weguttoknow:

hiowl:

missmania244:

eatfithappiness:

epic-humor:

Animals Growing Up

Cuz who wouldn’t want this on their dash

The turtle one

If this doesn’t make ur day better u are wrong and you can go

Besides the cats I always love this